I love my son.
I love him in a way I never knew was possible.
I never knew the joy of watching someone discover something for the first time.
I've never seen little eyes light up, and thought, I helped create those eyes!
I never thought I'd love anyone this much.
When I was little, I LOVED cats.
But cats didn't really love me.
They didn't love the constant kisses, and petting, and snuggling, and being practically squeezed to death with love.
Owen does.
He LOVES love.
He's definitely a lover.
I can kiss him and cuddle him and squeeze him half out of breath, and he just smiles.
And loves me back.

I hope with all my heart that Owen will always love me.
I'm afraid of his growing up.
I remember how hateful I was when I was a teenager.
I dread those days for Owen.
I hope he still loves me then, I hope he understands the things he never did.

I look at him, watch him grow, and I think, What a blessing. What a gift, this little Angel.
He is my whole life. I would take a bullet, dive off a cliff, blow myself up if I had to, to protect him.
I can't imagine my life without this little boy.
He warms my heart.
Sometimes I dread the dirty diapers, or the nights when he won't sleep.
Sometimes I don't feel like putting him in the high chair, don't want to deal with the mess.

But then he smiles. That huge, mommy-lips, toothless grin of his.
And all the annoyance, or the reluctance, just melts away.

And I know Mother's Day is supposed to be for the Mom's.
But what about the kids? Without them, we wouldn't even be Moms.
I love my son.
Forever, and ever, and ever.

I've enrolled for school.
Interdisciplinary Studies with emphasis on Educational Paraprofessional.
I'm extremely excited.

"How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'"-Martin Luther King

Ugh, lack of motivation. There are huge piles of laundry daunting me from the bedroom. I do not want to even go there.

Sleeping in is wonderful. It's nice when my husband can stay home and I don't have to wake up alone.
Have to do some crawling practice with Owen. Some day I'll probably regret helping him learn to do it faster...lol.

A New Day

Choices are the hinges of destiny-Edwin Markham

I have decided that I want to get my education degree. I will be taking online courses. As soon as I can get my 2008 taxes turned in ( I know, bad, late girl) then I can fill out my fasfa and get things rolling. I'm nervous, excited, and happy. Now that the decision has been made, I feel relieved. I have always wanted to go to college. College was pounded into my head from the day I started Kindergarten. But high school ended with me deeply and wildly in love. I had nothing to live for but him. Thank goodness he wasn't a mistake. My husband is my soul mate, and I am so glad that I chose to put off college in order to start my life with him. If I had not, I would not be sitting here right now, and I definitely would not have my beautiful son to snuggle each day.
However, now is the time for action. I want a steady job, but one that I love, not a 9-5 posistion at the local grocery. I'm not saying that job is not needed and worthy, but it is not my passion. My passion is children. And I love to teach. So yes, that is what I'm going to do. My family will benefit from it, and I will be able to make money doing something I enjoy.